returning. not much else to say but that, but returning. 3 years later, 3 long years later, teams between, but constants, too few constants, for 5 years after the founding, 4 of the first, another 3 or so formers, but still, out of a roster of dozens? that's it? sad. but now, with days, mere hours, and my mom was right, the first time the nerves, the butterflies, maybe it's the single travelling, maybe it's the start of travel weeks, maybe it's stress, a new introduction into my life, and age and wisdom grow, so does responsibility, but now, i imagine, i dream, i guess of the days to come, low 60s, scattered clouds, some rain on sunday and monday, and now the waterproofing looks like a good idea, and packing thoughts, and weather forecasts for this weekend, and the butterflys jump, and i look, and plan, how do i get home, from bus to train to bus to airport again? at least one to guide me, younger but smarter, and lengths some will travel to come, but sidetracked by five, and lost, with wonders, and questions. so what's it gonna be like, 3 years later, 1 1/2 years completely removed, 2 years without competative ultimate, well, not completely removed, but 267 days from the last tournament played on a beach. haven't thrown in that same length of time. is it like riding a bike? does it come back? what is my game now? (since it's not a question of what to change, since that requires a game TO change). what good might i be on the field? not a defender anymore, not a cutter, or a deep threat, and not a thrower, but a body on the field. sad. but we will see. a day away from travelling. 2 days away from playing. again.