settling back, returning to the fold, the dalliance, the thought, a mere fantasy, ephemeral, not lasting but a week or two, and so i wait, and wait, and wait, for a second coming, a revision long since coming, long since seen. connectivity goes down, and with it connections, tenuous, broken, gone, set adrift apart from my info, head from shoulders, need to remove, need to redundify, need to assume responsibility and just do it, create it, and accept that i am responsible, that i won't let it go away, that it won't just disappear. but there also is the question, similar to the laptop, self updating versus forward looking, and leaning towards self updating, for taking care of the self is solid