what could have been, and recognized as such, a flash in the pan, pain, a brief passing in the night, a bowel movement, honored, a what could have been, the chuck and marc have both thought and voiced that, what i could have been, with the heart, with the desire, with the dedication, without the burnout, the stress, the unfeeling attitude towards the series. what could i have been? defensive player, would my throws have gotten good? would i ever have been able to huck? would i ever not have a turnover, would i have taken over games? probably not, because i never wanted to. always wanted to be a cog, a piece, a gear, if you will, in the machine, i was never a thrower, the only thing i wanted, once a game, on defense, was to get a break. that was my only goal, my only desire while playing. i always expected the best of my team, that offense would do what offense does, score points, and that defense does what defense is supposed to do, get a break or two, and give the offense time to rest. i just wanted to be a cutter, a deep, to get open, advance the disc, and continue. but i couldn't take it anymore, and i didn't have the heart, didn't have the desire, or burned it up too soon, candle at both ends, and i stepped away. i stepped away.