risk, gambling, placing something of value up for possible loss, and I, in the tiny ways of which things are not said or done, am risk averse. in other ways, prone to too much risky business, but sometimes such action is not risky at all, when the value, the intrinsic worth, well, it's not that big on the plus side, a loss is no greater than the gain, and thus, no risk. no game played with tiny jacks and dice, on a 2-D projection of the 3-D world we live on. Stoplights. Speed limits. snowbanks. lines and rules and regulations, societal and self imposed. The mind moves slower, the heart holds back, and sluggish. Like mud. Steps away. Mere steps. One foot in front of another, instead, pivot, turn, about face and away. 180. And the mind kicks in to high gear, seeing things, observing things, noticing instances, nuances, little bits and pieces, puzzle, jigsaw, noticing the edges, the corners, and trying to build off them, trying to find a crack, a foothold, something to wedge it apart, make it crumble, so no climbing needs to take place. at the foot, looking up, blue sky above, few trees, and that cliff face. all suited up, the shoes, the ropes, the chalk bag, hands clapped in a cloud of white, two steps up, reaching out, and scared. scared. scared of climbing and falling. scared of not being able to climb. scared of that first handhold crumbling, unable to hold my weight. scared of reaching the top, and seeing that there's more to climb. just plain scared.