expressed, public, displays of affections, some emotions bared easily, willfully, some weaknesses proudly worn, a scarlet letter, a countdown of days, and others remain hidden, not so hidden, but not so public, not so much something to be proud of, not something to accept, or willing. unwilling. noone wants to hear it. there's noone i want to say it to, unlike before, when the audience was well defined, where there was a target, and now, with none to bring to bear, well, there is no need, no desire