too much in too little time, too much, finally? ultimate tourneys, off season, money spent on weekends away, flying, hotels, car rentals, weekends in cool carolina soccer fields, beaches both here and abroad, sunny florida, sunnier rimini, drinking, partying, but above all playing, playing with friends, pickup, maybe working on the game, but mostly enjoying, enjoying the quality, the level, the fun, above all the fun, and now? it's not that it stopped being fun, it's not that it stopped being enjoyable. actually, i wanted more. the next step. instead of a pickup team at each tourney, instead of a rambling assemblage of players from near and far, all fun and good to play with, i wanted more, i wanted the team i played with all fall long, i wanted my friends to join in on all the off season fun i had without them, i wanted them all to experience it too, i wanted kaze to be year round, instead of myself switching context, i wanted a continuation, a consistency, a thread, to put roots down. it would have been nice. but i guess some things weren't meant to be.