fear factor, can you do it, not something as simple as eating horse intestine or live worms or moving insects, or walking across wires 20 stories up, or meeting your significant other's parents for the first time, thanksgiving or christmas with the in-laws, but a simple phone call, a question, a check in, a check up, a status lookup, where am i, where do i stand, what's up, and scared to death of the call, happy not knowing, happy being in the dark, happy sitting in this space inbetween, waiting, just waiting, in ignorance, in bliss, and now, with the call made, and the call awaited, with baited breath, the heart beats and races and jumps, and wonders, puzzles, too much knowledge too much shared, and jumpy, not jumpi, but nervous, jittery, itchy for something, for something, for a tip, to be off the tip, to fall on one side of the fence or another, and waiting