what i am, what i didn't want to be, snobbery, big city folk, and i forget, or choose to look down, from my loft perch on lake shore drive, at the country people, down home, simpler, people. i am no better. my high toting falootin sense of worth and importance has been skewed, altered, influenced by big city living. i used to always dream of going back to the simpler life, small town, not even a suburb, cars, highways, easy parking, chain restaurants, shopping malls, green grass, yards, politeness, relaxed, living. but now? after years of the hustle and bustle, the city has grown inside of me, and i carry it with wherever i go. i look for the independent restaurant, the stand alones, worried about traffic and speedy drivers, expensive living because that's just how much it costs in the city, the movement, the closeness, the public transportation, walking, biking, the availability, the 24 hour-ness, familarity, haunting grounds, hunting grounds, but i am, and i don't like it, a snob, a big city snob.