pain, suffering, torment, torture, like a pig in mud, wallowed, rolled around in, slathered on, cherished and held. movie quotes, words of others capture sensation, catch fleeting, not so airy, but grounded, rooted, solid. at least that hope. it is something so simple, so freely given, without knowledge, without understanding, and spheres of influence collide, the sun never sets, the empire strikes back, and wars erupt, but only if conflict arises. there are those that fall, that tremble, as if Jericho blew his horn, as if fighting back is a worthless act, or if fighting back reduces the playing field, or maybe ability is just lacking, left for wanting. streamrolled. blindsided. dizzy, stars or little yellow birds circling. lost. image caught and captured, replayed at will. bile and disgust. wallow in it. relish it. cherish it. and now what? where do we go from here?