fallen off the wagon, lost sight of the goal, got sidetracked, waylaid, distracted by flowers and roses and candy from strangers, carrots, little tiny orange baby carrots dangled from sticks, cans trailing bumpers, soap on car windows, but i'd forgotten what the refreshment was all about, i'd forgotten my second wind, and i return to it, a little wary, without the elixirs, and potions and magicks, the fireworks and dazzlers and sparklers, handstands, quickly standing, shiny tinfoil slivers of light, dancing from lightbulbs, broad daylight, but i wonder if it's true, i wonder where the path truly lies, and if my forging and plowing and laying down of asphalt is in vain, when a highway runs parallel, when a frontage road, with all it's stop signs, cross roads, traffic competes with a freeway with exits and on ramps and car pool lanes, i begin to wonder what if, why that, and so on