so why am i emotionally and mentally socially stuck where i was two and a half years ago? does trauma do things like that are you asking if i'm seeing anyone questions that will haunt me until the day i die that hang around in the back of your mind, lurking, much like all of you reading books on things that used to make sense of direction lost, don't got it, it's gone, wonder, amazingly, it's stupefaction, word of the day, wotd, motd, musing of the day, i'm heading back in less than a week, not the usual way, but heading in from rochester, not that far away, supposedly, i can just imagine heading into the stupid town, past the holiday inn, the lakes on the right, with fields, lots of them, flat, and expansive, i don't remember if it was windy, but i remember that town all too well.