levels, mutliple levels, always different always shifting, i was a coach today, watched people play, considered one of the top, know what's going on, know what to do, show people what to do, an hour later i'm just a player, bottom of the totem pole, least amount of experience, going back and forth between those levels will make me insane. i don't know how to handle it. different levels, responding, writing, who am i to who i write to, relationships, identities, defined by things like that, defined by others by who you are we are will be