true and honest change, development, a new resting state, a new place to call home, but what has? what's stuck? lots of trials, tribulations attempts, but what's sticking? what's stuck? habits, schedules, staying up late, watching too much tv, dishes in the morning, in the evening, next day. behavioral inertia. the older you get the more set you get, the more ruts you've created, the wagon wheels treading down familiar paths, rut walls higher and higher, the path more traveled, comfortable, known, worn, useful, tried and true. blue. but seriously, what's different? the deltas are smaller now, given the carbon dating, but recently? biking to work. from the el to the bus, a while ago. but that's it. exercise routines fallen by the wayside, sleeping schedules, swimming, marathon training, dishes after dinner, organized data center and second bedrooms, mail organization, paper and document organization, all attempted, tried, trialed, and given up.