history, the places you've gone, the things you've seen, what was important, the interests, the desires, the wants, and the hindsight, the vision of lives past, and the wondering of a single decision, and the fallout thereafter, instead of dancing with d, dancing with j, and the world there after is different, choices in friends, social circles, less introversion, and introspection, and book reading, and thinking, and philosophizing, and more just living, and no maggie, no summer flings, no pining, but years and years of stability, wholesome, and accepted, and wonder what mistakes would have been made, because there would be some made, and how much different, how much would be the same, with a stable influence like that, a base to build upon, how much would have remained, the soccer, yes, but the back stage work? the theater? unsure. college choices? math and science, but instead more local, and possibly an unblemished university life, blissful, and safe, always back to safe. no jess, appendicitis? poker, computers even? teammates with Leo, Ferrari, and others, completely different ultimate trajectory, if ultimate actually remained, but after college, a house, a home, a marriage in safe, and maybe already, kids on the way, and all squared away. but then no chicago? no union crew, no kaze, no tea & strumpets, no godzilla. maybe back up on the north side, and maybe her life remains more similar to the present, in this altered timeline, and my path is skewed, that's an alternate, a what if, that I'd like to see in a movie.