one down, two left, things going my way, to new york, so it seems. people go home, people not checking here anymore? new lease on writing, new freedom, don't have to hold back according to an audience, people leaving, no more readers, readership goes down, need subscriptions, would you want an email version? a listserv maybe, or just a mailing list, if i was a television show i'd be worried about being cancelled, lose leadership in one place, only to become a leader in another, a mantle i don't like, but assume if necessary, like homework i guess, don't like it, have to do it. going to nationals to watch, not to play, should be to play, leaving behind a day of indulgence, which is good since i don't respect the cooh, don't respect the beast, don't feel like i've been conquered, brought down, to my knees, kneeling at the porcelain altar, would bow to him on great armored rodent 24 hour period.